SACRED COWS

"sacred cows make the best burgers"...indeed. In a world that seems to hold artists and celebrity so high on a pedestal its sometimes fun to look through the glitter and objectively think "is it actually any good?".

Sacred cows is a little section where albums,bands,movies,books will be re-assessed and given the new fresh once over. Do they deserve the 5 star status they get.

1- The Police - no not the metropolitan truncheon wielders rather the annoying new wave pop skankers. Sting. Just his name should be enough, who thought that sounded good? But this is about the music not the regrettable fashion mistakes or dodgy winged pants (see Dune) I was born in 1981 so heard The Police as they released songs although wasn't in the frame of mind to actually listen, rate and consider whether it was any good, as at the time I was pondering the chance of another Rusk biscuit or trying to get my shoe's on the right foot. They are given a high place and ranking among the rock élite and with everyone from Puff Daddy/P.Diddy/Diddy covering and sampling their work they must be great right?

I don't get it. Whiney white boy cod reggae and a fake accent so bad it'd make Ray Davies from The Kinks ja-faken accent seem genuine. It always seems that Sting is at the very top of his register and is one step away from a vein popping in his golden temple. "Every Breath you take" a song about a stalker turned into a wedding first dance song? "Walking on the moon"...ooh imagine that...only been a decade since It’d ACTUALLY happened boys...what's the next hit "Imagine Colour TV?"...I also blame Andy Summers for introducing the whole 80's guitar tone, that horrible chorus clean effect guitar that sounds like the Casio watch of the guitar tone world. In a side note I was stuck watching his solo show as he supported the vastly superior Buddy Guy at the Royal Festival Hall a few years back and this guy really does have Van Gogh’s ear for music and jazz is something he should stay away from especially when everything he plays sounds like a John Hughes soundtrack outtake.

Stuart Copeland, technically a amazing drummer and the fact he had the words "fuck-off-you-cunt" on his drums/toms so every fill was in fact a shot at Sting means he's the only one with some credibility in all this. and considering it’s by schoolboy behind the bike sheds swearing doesn't say a lot.

The Police? Criminal..life without parole.

Anna Calvi/Forest Fire gig

Anna Calvi is a bit of a mystery. At tiptoe she probably still a fag paper under 5 foot 4, but when on stage she towers over the rest of the band while firing out lightning bolts from her battered telecaster. At the time of watching the expectation's were high and although she's proficient and can solo with the rest of them I wondered whether if the novelty of her being a girl rather than a sweaty longhaired rocker in an Iron Maiden 87' world tour t-shirt gave her the upper hand and wow factor.

I suppose being a girl in the world of posing guitar heroes mean's she has to be double good (to use a Shaun Rider-ism) just to be taken seriously although maybe that's just my ingrained sexism coming to light.

The upcoming debut single "Jezebel" (out on Domino records on October 11th) is a well chosen and slightly leftfield cover of an Edith Piaf song and although on first hearing felt that some horns or mariachi trumpets would bring the whole thing to life a little more still was executed very well and will be a star buy of mine that will be getting an airing at my dj night about town...

Headlining the same show at London's Borderline were Brooklyn New York's own Forest Fire on their return shows in London and at the tail end of their recent visit after their amazing End Of The Road festival shows this past weekend.

Starting with feedback drenched harmonics and fuzz reminiscent of My Bloody Valentine rather than the Fleet Foxes comparisons made by lazy journalists that saw their record next to each other in the CD racks and assumed they were similar. Definitely one to watch, more in the vein of Sonic Youth if they'd grown up in Woodstock. Songs glide between full on feedback drones to gentle flute accompanied Lennon influenced ballads while the statue like bass player doing her best Bill Wyman impression kept the low end stuck solid to the bass drum and without sounding too poncey almost a plastic ono band for the 21st century if the blasphemy isn't too choking. I heard Mecury Rev glimmers while other's heard Black Keys riffs, a band for everyone with taste.

Give them a listen pop pickers, Debut Album "Survival" is out on Broken Sound Records and has already made the Rough Trade top 10 albums of the year....

www.myspace.com/annacalvi

www.myspace.com/fuckforestfire

skint,tanned and stuck at work....

"Oh well, oh well, I feel so good today,
We touched ground on an international runway
Jet propelled back home, from over the seas to the....UK"

Back from Majorca, home in blighty. Lovely break, relaxation, free bar and no mobile's/facebook interaction. Back. Grey sky, moody buses, packed trains and the realisation that the milestone of the 30th birthday is ever approaching. What's the plan batman? No idea. Maybe I should buy some stock in the Koran/Qur'an, if that preacher from Florida gets his way and burns them on a bonfire I'm sure stock will fly off the shelves..might be a nice little earner...I'm sure Amazon are loving it...

many people are burning them, many are burning their fingers trying to burn them....

holiday mix tape

"Now, the making of a good compilation tape is a very subtle art. Many do's and don'ts. First of all you're using someone else's poetry to express how you feel. This is a delicate thing." - Rob from High Fidelity

Indeed this is something that shouldn't be taken lightly and even in the world of play lists and ipods who even worries about such trivial things, why bother even making a list you can just bring your entire collection with you and choose at random. Well I grew up in the times of making mix tapes and having to find that last song that will finish the tape that seems like it will never end even after the 17th song on side B and running out of lines on your little insert...usually its a quick 2min Ramones gem or "sugar sugar" that does the job.

Holiday mix tapes are good for the pool and beach, the last thing you want to be doing especially with an ipod is getting it out at the beach, one thing it gets hot and secondary getting sand in that little wheel will definitely fuck things up, make a list and stuff it back in the bag with the headphone cable snaking out the zip...laverly!....

right in play list form here are the top 10 I'll be queuing up.


*I'm Walkin' - Fats Domino (you have to start with a banger, start things right)

*Tequila - The Champs (a little frat house but if tequila doesn't say holiday then i cant help you)

*Baby its you - The Beatles (can't peak to soon, got to ease back on the break a little)

*Kiss Me Baby - The Beach Boys (summer music, but a relaxing one)

*Broken Stones - Paul Weller (fender rhodes riff, wicked summer tune)

*Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots - The Flaming Lips (a little out of left field but first heard this on a mojo compilation during a boys holiday to greece so its in.)

*Spectacle - Sean Lennon (just the right tempo for drifting off in the shade)

*Please Be With Me - Eric Clapton (a little lost gem from the master of the sad face and oh so "bluesy" surrey born stratocaster twanger)

*Saturday Sun - Nick Drake (from Fives Leaves Left, a great guitarist goes to the Piano instead, wonderful)

*I'm Still In Love With You - Al Green (by then i'm probably asleep on the sun lounger so this will keep me chilled as my body burns)

that's my 10...

probably should then included "My Big Mouth" by Oasis to wake me up....but why bother coming back from pepperland, its all sunny and better there...

*whistles summer holiday*

Do not judge a man by the company he keepeth'.....

I was allowed to enter the circle of trust and like a celeb hungry vampire I want more...

The night started with a rainy and miserable night in Camden Town. The Libertines were playing Kentish Town Forum and after 3 days haven't managed to get tickets... Went to the Hawley Arms as maybe there had been a whisper of a after show party... In the Hawley we already spot Amy Winehouse and Graham Coxon as well as a newly "haired" Gail Porter. After many generous glasses of Jameson's I start to wander and end up chatting with Adam Green (google the man)... nice guy with a new york baritone and air of entitlement as well as his good friend and uber drummer par excellence Chris Egan who with a very suspect alcohol free becks was cool and the ring leader of the nights madness. Drew from Babyshambles is there also but assures us that he doesn't think there is any party here tonight but invites us to another party in Soho if we can make it...well its only work tomorrow..can always pull a sickie..

A black cab ride to Soho where we meet Alex Turner, Miles Kane,Kele from Bloc Party, Blaine from Mystery Jets, The Klaxons and some various scattered indie NME wet dream types....just keep cool and act like its a normal Wednesday night, that was the plan... They say never meet your heroes as you'll just be disappointed.. I think this should be changed to Never Meet your heroes as in a drunken state you'll probably just come across like a drunken prick. I mean does Miles Kane really want to know that I tried to get my hair like his...probably not... Did Adam Green really need questioning about whether he'd actually met Jessica Simpson (in regards to his song "Jessica" about her)..no..(he actually has never met her)...Though hopefully it wasn't that bad as everyone was in the same state as me... Met an old mate there from a few years ago so still have a foot back into wonderland should I ever have the balls to roll the dice again rather than stick to cheering from the sidelines.... and remember if your names not down...you'll still probably get in if your wearing skinnies....

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One More Roll Of The Dice?

Can I be arsed? That is the question. Yes pop pickers I have been on this merry go around of half arsed bands, half arsed deals, wannabes, skinny jeans, Lord Byron reading Brit-popping road for 10 years plus now..I've actually seen where the wave broke and the new generation came and went... At the moment I have 2-3 offers on the table from various bands and studio/session work but like the man who's climbed Everest only to be faced with the joy of sticking a 2 foot flag in the top maybe the journey is better than the realisation? Who knows, either way I can feel the warm blanket of conformity approaching with my 30Th Birthday in April and the idea of just playing in some Friday night covers band for a wad of greasy £20s seems better than digging out the Chelsea boots and heading around the Camden/London circuit for the 20Th time for no money and big promises from the new batch of twitching Marty mcfly label A&R scouts from some snide indie label....

...though its fun playing to people with all their own teeth who still have the fire in their eyes, those who life hasn't beaten yet.

"Hope I die before I get old?" Pete you don't know the half of it mate....