Monday, 12 March 2012

30 years and 322 days old...

In just over a month I will be 31. I’ve broken the barrier of the ‘30’ milestone and have actually begun the 30’s as a decade. Time is definitely ticking with more prominence than it ever did in my teens or even twenties for that matter and it’s slightly worrying that as the years go by I get less and less worried about the whole thing although part of me still thinks I probably should be. Maybe your body releases some kind of internal sedative that keeps you calm as you gradually wear out and lose track of your dreams and goals until one day you wake up aged 70 and feel nothing but apathy for the past, present and future. The 3rd decade isn’t all bad though, I definitely have a better understanding and viewpoint of ‘who’ I am as a person and am unashamed about my likes and dislikes without trying to shoehorn some kind of popular trend into the mix as well as a barrier to keep a modern head on my ever greying shoulders.

Let’s just say that Harry Nilsson and Gram Parsons will always be cooler than Two Door Cinema Club and that’s just how it is. Not to say they are without merit at all but who really cares one way or another? Surely we’re past tip-xing out favourite bands on our school bags?

It’s definitely an era of reassessment and more importantly deciding what is genuine and what are just pie in the sky goals that you were only ever half interested in when it actually came down to it anyway. Teenage dreams when examined under the microscope of time tend to show that they were simply means to an end and the true aims were probably a lot less interesting i.e. to make money, to meet girls, to not have to settle down and get a proper job. They might have been hidden beneath the blanket of art and creating something for future generations but I don’t believe that music is an industry for fakers and sooner or later the hustlers are found out. Or maybe I just run out of steam and have got to the finish line and can see how futile it all is for those that don’t crave the constant attention and love from strangers on a daily basis.

The hump is approaching and once at the top of the mountain it’s a lot easier to survey the land below and make a true decision. Writing is easier, no practicing, no remembering what I wrote the day before and continue to remember for the foreseeable future. No having to stand on stage and re-read my stuff exactly the same way as the readers first read it to themselves. It’s instant. It’s full of the contradictions and general pointlessness of the daily grind but at the same time it seems to have more genuine heart involved than churning out another 3 chord wonder. There is now definitely a line in the sand for music and although I’ll ‘talk it’ constantly and listen to it just the same I’ll no longer feel the need to try and ‘walk it’ any more.

Berlin - Lou Reed (the version on his debut solo album not the 'Berlin' Album version if you please)

Sweeter Memories - Todd Rundgren

Live with Me - The Rolling Stones

Nude - Radiohead

Country Home - Neil Young & Crazy Horse

Red Light Indicates The Doors are Secured - Arctic Monkeys

No comments:

Post a Comment