Tuesday, 12 October 2010

The longest cab ride ever...


Thursday 7th October and thanks to a heads up by one of my mates I'd been lined up for some session playing for a group playing a gig in town. After acquiring the needed bass guitar (for it was that I was playing rather than the standard guitar I was used to)I proceeded to the venue and squinted my way through the set following notes and chords jotted down on a piece of A4 at my feet. The gig was fun, 5 songs and sorted. The journey home was a headache. In central London on week night a good hour after the last trains had vanished and carrying a very expensive Fender Jazz bass that wasn't mine I thought the safest option was the call Addison Lee cabs and get home. What they sent was someone who the CIA must have trained up in mind torture, every opinion more idiotic and pathetic than the last and although I would try and cut conversations short even trying "the phone off" by beeping and flicking through already read messages in a vain attempt to give him a clue but it seems this was a man on a mission. If I'd started this tale a bit sooner I would have combined his insanity into a new "sacred cows" page as the bands he mentioned as being his favourites were such dross as "Status Quo" (THE Quo! as he called them) and "Dire Straits" who also climb the ladder near the top of the worst bands, singers, guitarists of all time in my opinion. Music for people that don't like music... I would rather slice my member off with a rusty bread knife than sit through even a minute of anything off of "Brothers In Arms" or god help me a Mark Knopfler solo outing. As the insanity carried on and the wind started getting up in my sails I cut him short with a "what the fuck about Hendrix?"... (as his ramblings about guitars reached fever pitch) he casually brushed this away with "I never really understood why it needed to be so loud and so aggressive"....no mate and you never will. God how I hate people... after the revolution and the armies have everyone lined up against the wall I will distribute a ten point questionnaire a mark lower than 7 will result in immediate death. Tough rules for a safer Britain...hail biggus dickus!

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