Tuesday, 28 September 2010

I'm sorry we don't hear a single.....


In the times we live in it seems that the general public loves nothing more than a list, a best of, a top 10, something with order that can tell them in no UN-certain terms how things are rated. If it wasn't for the "best of" TV shows what would Jimmy Carr do with his evenings? After reading the last installment of "the best albums of the 00's" I've decided to go the other route and list the Worst albums of a great artists career. A time when it was all going so well then they released a golden turd of an album and torn between the love of the band/artist and blind faith we went and slapped our tenner on the counter only to turn into a donkey on the bus home as track 3 played...

right as I'm juggling this and "real" work I'll give you 3 to be going on with...



3 - Sometime In New York City - John Lennon
This came out after Imagine a time where a Beatle (a former one at that) could do no wrong. After all he was going to bring peace to the world and introduce Yoko Ono on the pop world and then this happened. Lennon moved to New York (his home for the remainder of his life) and got caught up with a bunch of stoned hippies looking for a revolution, being the band wagon jumper that he was John Lennon jumped feet first into the "struggle" and decided to sing songs about "real issues" almost like a daily newspaper of songs. Apart from guaranteeing that your songs are going to be dated by the time they are eventually released it also splits your fan base in about ten different directions. Does some 13 year old girl who lives in Nebraska really care about a riot at Attica State prison? Another downfall of this album is that Yoko is given centre stage (not for the last time) and she simply isn't good enough to be paired against one if not the greatest songwriter of his generation, its like Bob Dylan making an album with Ringo and giving him half the album for his own songs...you just feel that your missing out on more great stuff by listening to crap.

It does have its highlights, though not many. New York City is a good old fashioned rocker and on the live side the track Well (Baby Please Don't Go) with Frank Zappa And The Mothers Of Invention is inspired.

Apart from these shining moments there is a couple of "alright" moments, Born In A Prison is sweet and Woman Is The Nigger Of The World is almost saved by Phil Spector's bombastic production even if the sentiment seems like its trying far too hard. After this album dropped like a rock Lennon made "Mind Games" which although wasn't back up to Plastic Ono Band standards still was heading in the right direction.


2 Grace/Wastelands - Peter Doherty
Peter Doherty (no longer Pete he means business now)former/current member of The Libertines/Babyshambles was going to show us and the judgemental tabloid newspapers who hounded him through his drug addiction and supermodel love affairs, he was going to show us all, with his poet heart and punk chord changes. What happened? Like Paul McCartney and John Lennon's writing partnership with Carl Barat and Pete Doherty you could usually tell who wrote which song just after one hearing, Doherty was the soul of the Libertines so a solo album seemed a great idea, him and acoustic and no smack head friends plunking away in the background. What happened? Grace/Wastelands is a warm fart of an album, it was released, ignored and then kicked into the bargain bin. No highlights, some of the half finished songs had already been heard on demos that had been floating around the web for months previously. A missed opportunity and proof that The Libertines reunion was needed for all members. The single "Last Of The English Roses" is 2 star by numbers Babyshambles b-side with even his fey "ro-oh-ses" cute little boy routine not helping "paper over the cracks" with this one. Total shambles.

1 - Metal Machine Music - Lou Reed
Obvious? Probably but what else could take the crown for worst album ever, even by a great artist. Lou Reed chief songwriter and leader of The Velvet Underground, just this alone would put him in the highest stream of rock royalty and even his solo albums had shining moments (Transformer, Berlin)but this 1975 double album of just Feedback and Noise takes some beating. Rock journalist Lester Bangs thought it one of the best albums ever, something to blow away the cobwebs ever morning although personally my copy would be covered in them through lack of listening to. Though like Revolution #9 (the beatles) did before him, it's not the fact the track is bad its the fact that they had the balls to do it in the first place which gives them the kudos in the end. Right you hum it and I'll play it Lou...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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